rough and ready.

Once there was a way to get back homeward
Once there was a way to get back home
Sleep pretty darling do not cry
And I will sing a lullaby

Golden slumbers fill your eyes
Smiles awake you when you rise
Sleep pretty darling do not cry
And I will sing a lullaby.

these days have been pretty good. sunshine and emerging green leaves and liberation.

i remember love

i remember the warm concrete below the souls of my feet

i remember making smoothies

i remember waiting and waiting and hysteria

i remember how my mom kissed me goodnight as a child

i remember “eres el amor de mi vida”

i remember “i want to be with you forever”

i remember that i am now content.

i remember moments in my 89 corolla:

i remember moments in my silver boxy ’89 corolla. hot and sticky nights in june, cool and content in my old car. we would listen to KSPC, the college radio station, because it would play devendra banhart and animal collective. crickets outside, buzzing faint radio inside. windows rolled down and we’d park and sit and listen and be. this moment always lingers in my memory because it is an instance where i feel care free and natural and infinite; like time isn’t moving, the whole world is silent and frozen except for you and me. my ’89 corolla was my private jem -oh the adventures it guided us to, the conversations, arguments, tears, and hysterical laughter it listened. how freezing the interior felt driving to school, 7.32AM on a monday morning, and how scorching it felt at 3PM in the front seat driving out of CHS parking lot on a friday afternoon. the kisses exchanged, the greetings, the goodbyes in my ’89 crolla..it all brings me back to my suburban hometown, my highschool life, the days of incessant warmth and comfort and familiarity. the corolla is nostalgia in its purest form. it smells like mildew and fast food and flowers we picked. the days of feeling reckless and responsible, of late night conversations in that car have passed. dad sold the corolla in august. the car that drove me from the hospital to home when i was born. the car that encapsulates claremont naivety and freedoms. it is bittersweet, and you know, i am okay that it is gone.

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3 Responses to “rough and ready.”

  1. beth Says:

    you are amazing. i love you and the imagery your words provoke. you need to start writing more things like this and send them into magazines

  2. radmazin Says:

    you are amazing. i love you and the imagery your words provoke. you are California. ❤

  3. rosie Says:

    YOU are. A. Maze. and with some zing in it. I love you, duh. If only my words could provoke an image as stunning as you as I know you in California, well, wouldn’t that be a skill!

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